The Place Leaves My Stomach in Knotts

It's Wednesday; I'm watching Channel 4; a programme called Superscrimpers.  Advice: want to book a cheap restaurant?  Check out toptable.com.  Great!  A site full of restaurant deals.   A bit of searching and I find something I like:  The Place Restaurant on Ducie Street.  To the Place we would go.  Days are spent in preparation:  I get my hair styled; I get my legs waxed and eyebrows plucked; I have scent enhancement treatment; my tongue is kept free of contaminants; I buy a suit; I buy some brogues; I invest in a taxi so I can arrive in style.  Disaster strikes; The taxi fails to turn up; a sign that events are turning bad.