Saturday, 22 October 2011

Think of Something Good

Right then Muckers!  It's been a while.  College work consumes most; university work consumes the rest; leaving this little blog, this poor miserable little fucker, to fester in the background.  And so much has happened.      Of most significance, a terrible meal at The Lead Station.  And I know their breakfast is to die for; so say all of you; but their venison pie is filled with diarrhoea from an old sheep's arse.  Who the fuck wants that?  Who wants something runny and stinky inside a pie?  And it's not venison anyway.  It's Liver, all leathery and flavourless like an old woman's tits.  Did I really put that?  Can I leave that in?  Yes!  Consider it from my point of view.  I've neglected this blog; I'm willing to write any old shit.  Now I've lost my train of thought.  So, the Pie; it's filled with shit.  What about the pastry?  A substance that should snap and crackle; a substance that should be golden and flavoursome like a young woman's... The Lead Station Pastry looks like a pancake; tastes like an undercooked omelette; and feels, in the mouth, all squidgy and spongy, like an old man's... Like an old man's what?  I bet you're all thinking cock.  And you'd be right.  Like an old man's cock.
So, you're sucking an old man's cock whilst a sheep shits diarrhoea all over your face.  That's a Lead Station pie; and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to lose readers.
How to win you back?  How can I walk the streets without shame?  I feel a Dickensian swoon arising.  Think of something good...

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