Right then Muckers! It's been a while. College work consumes most; university work consumes the rest; leaving this little blog, this poor miserable little fucker, to fester in the background. And so much has happened. Of most significance, a terrible meal at The Lead Station. And I know their breakfast is to die for; so say all of you; but their venison pie is filled with diarrhoea from an old sheep's arse. Who the fuck wants that? Who wants something runny and stinky inside a pie? And it's not venison anyway. It's Liver, all leathery and flavourless like an old woman's tits. Did I really put that? Can I leave that in? Yes! Consider it from my point of view. I've neglected this blog; I'm willing to write any old shit. Now I've lost my train of thought. So, the Pie; it's filled with shit. What about the pastry? A substance that should snap and crackle; a substance that should be golden and flavoursome like a young woman's... The Lead Station Pastry looks like a pancake; tastes like an undercooked omelette; and feels, in the mouth, all squidgy and spongy, like an old man's... Like an old man's what? I bet you're all thinking cock. And you'd be right. Like an old man's cock.
So, you're sucking an old man's cock whilst a sheep shits diarrhoea all over your face. That's a Lead Station pie; and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how to lose readers.
How to win you back? How can I walk the streets without shame? I feel a Dickensian swoon arising. Think of something good...